Oh, if I had a dollar for how many times I’ve announced to anyone within listening distance, “I’ve reached my limit!” Maybe I’m not the only one, as a parent, we all hit a wall sometimes and yes, I’m limited too. Over these last months, I’ve faced reality regarding my limit as a mom.
That’s not a fun place to swim around in as a mother.
Let me delve a bit deeper in transparency, I had found myself coming up short for my children. Unfortunately, there were not enough bandages or kisses to mend our adoptive kids’ hearts. Before I knew it, their feelings began unraveling and their visible needs increased, compounding, and building into something I had never experienced before.
Leading them to trust and heal meant I had to look
at my own habits, my own hurts, my own emotions,
and allow God to heal me first.
As a mom, I had to accept the season we found ourselves. I realized that if I tried to insulate their world from stress, make it pain free with only cotton candy feelings and experiences–I’d achieve the opposite goal. Our adopted children have felt anxieties, fears, losses, pains, injustices, and change more deeply than I ever have and I came to a realization. If they were to heal–I had to step towards them, relate to their emotions, and into a place where I had to sacrifice, empathize, gain education, and seek outside help. I also had to look at my own life and daily routine–figuring out where to gain extra time to invest in them, where I was too distracted, where I was lazy or disconnected. Ooh now those words sting to write. I had to ask–where was my thought life leading me? Where was I allowing my mind to check out and potentially avoid or fight their need?
It was time for me to put my hair up in a ponytail and engage.
There wasn’t a clever pin or post that would fix any of this. I soon realized these burdens were too heavy to shoulder alone and I surrendered in the muck. My face needed to hit the ground. I needed to accept my limits before God in a world that shouts everyday–I am self-sufficient, as a woman–I am able to fill every role effortlessly, and I can remain independent and achieve success on my own. The lies, immaturity, insecurities, and grief I held tight to, well those I too laid at the cross in prayer. Out went my goals of the perfect mommy image, family, home, and schedule. Weeds sprouted in my yard, my plants died, dust collected, tile fell off my kitchen wall, layers of fingerprints stuck to my doors, calls weren’t returned quickly, and I began to fully accept my God given role as mother to our adopted children. It was time to ask for God’s help and accept His answers–whatever they would look like.
His response came like a flood.
- He moved my parents to live just two doors away to help in anyway they could.
- He gave my mom the desire to help me by cooking meals three times a week with our teens so I could invest the hours needed each day with our smallest children.
- He brought my husband home after nine long months of living in another state full time for work.
- He led a play therapist to our area to help our son recognize and process his daily emotions.
- He provided a massage therapist to work on my physical tension twice a month.
We moms don’t have life all together–especially those of us who’ve adopted. All of us have leapt by faith into waters we’ve never swum in before. Yes, we may know where the socks are dropped behind a chair, where the mayonnaise is tucked in the refrigerator, or where the post-adoption paperwork is filed but rarely does anyone know where we hide away to cry when life bombards us. God heard me, knew my limits, and then He dried my face. Because He’s limitless, He continues to help me daily, stretching me along the way, and He will help you too if you ever decide to ask Him. God is a perfect Father dear mom and I pray you’ll always remember…
God cares for us.
He answer’s our prayers.
We don’t have to go through the hard places in life alone any more.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:6-7 NIV
*This blog is dedicated all moms–a late mother’s day gift from me. 😉