Months ago, I stood at my island, paralyzed. In numbness, I sorted the piling mail for the umpteenth time- uncertain of what to keep and what to toss. The butcher-block collected its piles and kept me in a state of visual distraction. I pushed a basket of clean laundry across the tile, moving it one pace closer towards the dining table where more filled baskets waited to be folded. It was then that another priority caught my attention. After picking up a pen, I looked for a small space upon our calendar to add another commitment. The squares looked like a patchwork of chaos. At that moment, I felt the walls of time begin to close in and squeeze me without mercy. There was nowhere for me to run. I found that each afternoon and evening that once offered us freedom to play or be creative as a family- began to feel suffocating by endless to do lists.
I stood in the laundry room, switching yet another load of clothes, when I confessed an unspoken prayer. “God, I feel buried alive by mail, laundry, responsibilities, and commitments. If this is what you want my life to be like, that’s fine, but if you want to use me in a better way- then I need your help.”
Today almost 2 months later, my heart is full and aching again. I wiggle in my little seat as if the rich caffeine has already touched my lips. The thought of drinking the percolating cinnamon coffee- alone in silence gives me hope of being inspired, creative, and fulfilling more of my purpose in some way. I stand at the window and smile at a precious sight. There is no greater joy for me today than to watch my children hop onto their bikes, laughing together, and peddling into the unknown this afternoon. My answers to prayer for their unity have been answered- well, at least for the next hour that will allow me to write.
Are there any moments that come to mind when you too feel rest is far off or has been handed to you like a lost treasure? Some find their wealth in things – but today, I feel like the richest woman in the world because I have received the gift of rest from my gracious father…
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30