We thought we would give it a shot, Larry and I brought the babies to a new nursery at church before attending the service on Good Friday. I wasn’t surprised by the reaction we got from Justice our newest little one as he entered his new surroundings. He was not impressed with the kind faces, soothing voices, colorful toys, or the crayons he loves to chew on. He was panic stricken. I left him for a few moments, waiting outside of the room. Many encouraged me to leave him and under normal circumstances I would have. Larry and I have always been big on letting our children cry it out as they adjusted to a new routine or as they just wanted to get their point across. We haven’t been easily swayed after 16+ years of parenting but Justice was not going to be able to handle this change so easily. His past, the multiple homes, the losses, all played a part in his reaction- but the biggest trauma for him was the thought that we were abandoning him.
Over the last 5 months, Larry and I have quickly become “ Daaaad and Mom-Mom-Mom” to this precious child. We as a family, have loved Justice generously, regardless of the pain when we MAY have to let him go. The last thing that I wanted to do was trigger any feelings of abandonment within him. As I came to the door, I reached for him and wiped his slimy nose, dried his crocodile tears, and held him close. Instantly he was soothed. He was safe and he felt loved.
Love is a powerful thing. It crosses barriers and moves straight to the heart. It bonds. It comforts. It heals. One day, Justice will be able to enter into a new classroom on his own with a smile on his face and a low toned giggle in his voice. But until then, I will watch and wait. He will know that I will be aware of his needs, that my love for him will not cease, and that I will never abandon him. Jesus does this for me daily. It’s because of His committed love and the sacrifice of his own life for me, that I have found my own healing and giggle Now when He brings me into the new and unfamiliar places of life, I have come to realize with the power of His love, that all things are possible.