I remember the moment like yesterday, the one when I conversed with my future husband for the first time. We were at a youth gathering, and both of us at college age, were helping oversee the activities for the evening. We had already met before that event and as we sat, we dove into the topic of travel. He spoke about how he had traveled to Haiti and I spoke about how I had traveled to Merida, Mexico and the Dominican Republic–all of them were mission trips where we served the people in various ways. Neither of us remained the same after our travels. Our worldviews experienced a mighty transformation and it connected us together in a new lasting friendship. After months of working with the youth for the summer, then attending college, deep conversation, and prayer together–we became engaged. Both of us not only committed our lives to each other but also to serving God together in full-time ministry.
I had no idea what I was doing.
No one told me I’d enter my darkest days as a new pastors wife in South Florida. No one told me how lonely I would feel, or the difficulty I would have serving teens when I was a still only nineteen myself. I had baggage–major baggage and I felt lost. I felt ashamed and felt so unworthy to serve in the role I’d been entrusted with. I felt ill-equipped and I didn’t want to fake anything. I was spiraling into a depression that would last a few long months. It was no wonder as I gaze back on it; I didn’t know what my purpose was and I didn’t make the time to seek God until I was desperate. The good news, I did awaken from my late morning slumbers and returned to the habits that had once brought me to the cross of Christ–I found hope again.
That season was pivotal in my walk with Christ.
Few understand what it’s like to crawl out of a pit and serve people much less serve God but there’s something I want you to know. My husband and I as many of you, know what it’s like to serve others and there are reasons why we do it. We love our Lord Jesus and we know He loves people–we are compelled by His Holy Spirit to extend His love to others and there’s no way to contain it. We’ve realized over the years, we don’t need a full-time ministry to love or serve people, we can do that in whatever circumstance we find ourselves in. Because of our belief, we hope people around us have felt it. I’m aware that any future service will require sacrifice, whether it be over the mountains or through the valley’s. That thought makes me pause, am I willing? Am I willing to grow?
I don’t like growing pains but I do like to grow.
So, here we are at our vocational crossroads again. My husband’s pipeline project is complete and now we face choices that will determine our family’s future. There are so many directions we could go and sometimes I feel like that’s almost harder. Should he hit the pipeline again for months at a time? Should he return to his successful sales experience for a job? Or do we take that looming leap of faith and do what we really know we should? Should we return to full-time ministry? How should we serve God and serve people? Those are big question marks. We are praying, we are working with the answers we have so far, and we are moving forward until the revelation comes.
I covet your prayers for our family…
(Read More…) I Thessalonians 1:1-10